Stream of Consciousness

It is my first blog post and I am trying to ignore the pressure. A blank sheet of paper or blank document is terrifying to me. I think its the infinite possibilities that my little control-freak mind can’t wrap itself around. I have always been this way. I have always been the girl holding a pen and paper and staring into it and hoping something will appear. I am proud to say that this space is no longer blank.

My blog will be anonymous until further notice. I do not want to share my identity because, well, who knows what I will be writing on this page? I sure don’t. In day-to-day life I am a quiet, observing person who does not want to rile anyone up with my opinion. This sentence seems odd because, if you knew me, you would think the opposite. Most of the time. My grandmother calls me an “extroverted-introvert.” I guess that means that I am an introvert, but in my life I have to seem like an extrovert. I am somewhat of a manager at my job, so I have to be in the middle of everything when I would rather be my wallflower self.

At this point, I am telling you about me, so here we go.

I would much rather go to school full-time and learn all I can learn than work. I am sure most students would say that, but I am not your average student. I am 10 years post high school and just finished my first semester of college. Bam! But in all seriousness, I love to learn. Anything and everything. In grammar school all the way through senior year of high school I hated math, loathed it. But having to take two math classes my first semester made me almost, almost like math. I passed with a B so now I can move onto other things.

At this point I am an English major. What will I do with this major? I am still figuring this out. Most women, where I live, are striving to get married, have children, and buy a house. Sure, I would love most of those things. Getting married would be fine and buying a house would be cool, but I want degrees. I want knowledge. I wonder if anyone reading this has seen the American version of the t.v. show “Shameless.” If you have, and you are up to date, do you remember Helene? That is who I want to be. Brilliant, bold, beautiful, confident, and accomplished. My first step in this is becoming independent and earning a degree on my own dime. Independence, check. Degree on my own dime, work in progress.

 

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